#justsayhiĪ month’s worth of ALTERNATIVES TO "HOW ARE YOU?" (3 MIN READ) Have you ever had the experience of a person asking “How are you” as they walked by, and before you could open your mouth to reply, they’d already walked away? Yeah, me too. “How are you?” is just a habitual phrase that a lot of people toss out when they’re not really interested in listening. (I might be the only weirdo here but getting asked “How are you?” over text is actually strangely triggering for me because it’s completely impossible to fully answer via text, and the act of silencing or squashing how deeply I’m really feeling just makes me feel worse.)
When asked “How are you?” over text message, it’s even harder to answer fully since SMS is designed for minimal short responses, and the full, true answer probably doesn’t fit neatly into a single short phrase. (I believe we always deserve the right to opt out of any question that's asked, but that's a topic for another blog post.) There’s not really a graceful or easy way to say “I don't want to answer that question" without coming off as rude so the other person is kinda pressured to give some type of answer even if they don't want to. “How are you?” assumes that the other person needs to explain themselves to you when they may not feel ready or open to doing that. Asking a chipper “How are you?” when the sky is falling can sound slightly out of touch. RIGHT NOW) since any reasonable person oughta be able to make an educated guess that someone’s feeling stressed, worried, or overwhelmed. Hearing “How are you?" can be especially triggering during times of crisis and stress (a.k.a. I’ve even heard a joke that fine stands for “F*d up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional.” Sounds accurate. At any given moment, I’m swimming in a cocktail of conflicting moods related to being tired of eight months of shelter-in-place, the rise of fascism in the United States, teetering on the edge of hangry, worried that 50% of Americans won't vote in the upcoming election, oh, and I just received the sweetest email from a reader that made me cry tears of joy,… so which one of these is the answer to “How are you?” The answer is: "I don't know, but probably a lot." 🥴Ĭultural norms dictate that a single, short, positive answer is expected like “Good” or “Fine.” But “fine” is kinda a garbage answer. You might be thinking, “How on earth could someone not like the question 'How are you?'" Thank you for asking. I’m sure there’s at least one raised eyebrow out there right now.
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